When You Don’t Know What You Want Anymore

There’s a specific kind of panic that rises when someone asks, “What do you want?”, and you quite frankly have no clue…

We all like to think we have our sh*t together at some point, but do we really? Or are we following someone else’s definition of “having it together”? Someone else’s idea of the perfect plan?

I’m one of these weirdos who religiously have this on repeat: “always do what you love doing”, even if it’s only as a hobby. And I do believe everyone has dreams, even the ones who say they don’t. But I also know that this message can hit painfully for people who spent years raising families, surviving, holding everything together. When a dream is ignored for long enough, being reminded of it can almost feel cruel.

Dreams don’t disappear. They get buried under exhaustion, responsibilities, stress, and survival mode. They get covered like flowers under mud. It’s not your fault you can’t hear yourself.

The brain works like Tetris. It repeats patterns it sees the most. If it’s been fed stress for years, it will keep offering you more stress. So how do you break the pattern?

Well, the good news is that the brain is like the Tetris game and looks for patterns. It memorises patterns that get repeated and then showers us with more situations that repeat the same patterns. So how do we remove the stress pattern and let the dreams resurface?

You stop. You do absolutely nothing. Effing nothing.
Lie down like Patrick Star and let your system discharge for a moment.

Then, release the pressure to “have it all figured out.” Honestly, why is this even a goal? And what does it mean to you? Not to society, not to your family, not to Instagram, to you?

Your “perfect” doesn’t have to make sense to others. And others’ “perfect” doesn’t have to be the same as yours.

One rule I live by is:
Never take advice from someone who isn’t successful in the thing you’re trying to do.
Find someone relevant. Someone who actually understands the path you want.

And then, follow your excitement.
If you have two options, choose the one that sparks something small inside you. Even with tiny choices. Even when buying milk, take the path that feels a little more exciting or nicer to you.

These tiny choices are like breadcrumbs back to yourself. They rebuild the connection between “what I do” and “what I actually want.” And when you feel even a little bit good, clarity returns. Desire returns. You start remembering who you are and what you want, without forcing it.

Effortless is the way to go.

Love,

Nicky 💌

P.S.: No “book prescriptions” this time. I would suggest you search Bashaar on YouTube and listen to any of his videos. It helped me tons to defog my brain and feel serene and back on track 🙂